I was with many of these friends at an international tradeshow during 9/11. They were as appalled as we Americans were. The regular people of these countries typically love Americans but find themselves hating America. They feel we see them as lesser people, not to be taken seriously except how they are a threat to us or how they can supply us with oil. Otherwise, they feel that America would rather see them the countries in the Middle East just go away.
But amazing things are happening over in the Middle East; just look at countries like UAE and Bahrain. They are becoming crossroads of commerce for the world. Sometimes I feel that the rest of the world is moving on without the US. The Dubai airport at 3AM looks like a shopping mall during Christmas shopping season: everything for sale and a mob of thousands of people buying things. China and India are also developing rapidly. Russia is feeling strong again. If the US continues to take an antagonistic view of the Middle East then we will find ourselves out of the loop, so to speak.
So I disagree with Ara about isolationism. The US would never recover it's ground. I'm in Beijing right now and China's economy is hot and their people are excited about the future.
The one correlation that I see befitting people who are more moderate and wanting to solve differences are those that are educated. Though not a panacea, education gives people the ability to see more than one view. I feel that if we had spent the same money on schooling for third world countries instead of propaganda, we would have more allies. And of course if you count what we spend on military, we could eradicate hunger and education deficits for most of the world.
I agree with Charlie that the creative approaches to negotiation are important. And to keep the dialog going through thick and thin will build relationships that will have currency in the long run. But so long as ignorance exits in large degrees, those with their own agendas of power and control can continue co-opt religion and nationalism at the expense of the peoples lack of knowledge.